Fall running how I want it....

After my last post in January I was able to run an average of 55 miles a month until May. May continued by downward slide with ankle/foot pain. WTF. Stubborn as I am I waited until June after I signed up for a half marathon and couldn't do 3 runs a week to find another Dr. What was I to do? I need to run to feel, I need to run because I can. Well I can but I am struggling with it. So in July I saw a chiropractor, a sports chiropractor and I saw him Last week of July. When I sat down I looked and him and asked if he was active. He looked at me and said that he enjoys running and skiing. I started to feel a little at ease but not convinced that he would try to fix the foot without sending me to a surgeon. I handed my MRI and he brought up the photo, with a deep breath he shows me the area where there isn't a ligament. He explained why I needed one and what my bones were doing. He felt confident he would help me, he also heard me say that I needed to run. At this point with my personal life, my growing kids, my work and my loses I need to run distance to feel again. My heart is in pieces and I'm looking for help. So the "hammering" of the foot began and then he taped it. With permission I would run in the morning.
July 24th I ran 4 miles.... No pain in foot/ankle and 2 miles in I felt.... I saw lots of things that reminded me of my dad but I felt a little angry (gawd I need to get past that). I am able to run 2 days a week and it hurts some but getting better. The last "run" at camp was a walk not a run but I needed some closure, need to forgive so I can receive guidance. It happened! I heard the signs and then I forgave and listened. Listened to the wisdom. Praying I can continue to feel as I heel the foot and run. Time will tell. For now I'm canceling the half marathon.

After MRI

Well I had an MRI on Dec 18th and no call from the doctor so I am moving on.  I did read my report and it says "Anterior Talofibular ligament tear" but I really don't think there is treatment so I will rehab myself.  I went for a walk with Nolan and the Dog on Dec 27th we went 2 miles and I walked. It went well, little stiff in the right ankle but no real pain. The day after I was a little sore but again all tolerable.  Yesterday I went in treadmill for 20 mins, walking and jogging at about 4.8.  Today I woke with very little pain so I decided that it was time.......That's right..... Feet dressed clothes on and out the door I go.  I jogged slowly for 1/2 mile, I turned off my music and walked. How can I describe what I felt? In the distance I can hear a wood splitter, I can barely smell exhaust, I can hear a faint chirping from a bird, I see a small bird jumping on a branch, I feel coolness on my left cheek and the sun warmth on my right.... I can feel.... I started to cry, I'm feeling for the first time in a loonnggg time and it hurts. My heart hurts with sadnesses but yet I am feeling.  After about 2 miles I was jogging easy and slow (to not hurt my ankle) I could feel stinging in my lungs and the water running in the ditch was making a beautiful song.  I hurt in my heart but I was so happy. Happy that I found her, I found "Maureen" she has been missing but yet I found her........ 3 miles of jog/walking and heeling.

6 months post Marathon

Well, it has been 6 months since my marathon, how am I doing??  Not good.  My first Marathon was May 18th and it was the best day of my running career.  After my marathon I took 6 days off and went for a run on May 24th, 3 miles and paced 10:10m/mi.  I ran at least twice a week from that day forward, working on some sprints and really trying to get that sub 30 5k, that would be my next goal.  June 21 was my last run until July 6th which was not very good, on July 9th all I could do was walk......  What is going on?  My right ankle behind my ankle bone on the outside hurts, and to step down or even walk is difficult, do I have an injury?  It can't be an injury because I am strong and I have never had an injury.  I took a week off and then ran a 5K in Lincoln on July 20th, running was horrible and in the 5k photo I was walking with my head down.
I took a month off from running on that day and waited.  The kettle-bell and I got close and I found it nice to get my heart rate up.  In August I saw my doctor and took another month off from running, with an occasional "cheat"  of a mile or two.  I saw Dr Darcy a podiatrist on Sept 18th, he put me in a walking cast "my boot" for 4 weeks.  That weekend I had a 5k the insane inflatables race that was already paid for so I took the boot off and ran it. It was mostly a walk run with my sister and it was very fun!!!! After that weekend the boot would be on and I was ready to heal that foot!!! Dr Darcy said that is was peroneal tendonitis with a possible tear but with the price of a MRI we would treat it the same so I picked to wear the boot.  I went for a follow up after 5 weeks in the boot and the ankle was still hurting, what the heck!!! why why why.  This time we would try steriod injections, that was on Oct 21st and I was instructed to wear the boot at all times except to sleep.  I was very compliant and wore the boot.  On November 10th I went back to Dr Darcy and the ankle felt good!!  I got a brace to wear while the strength comes back in my foot after being in the cast for 8 weeks.  How does it feel now?  Well to be honest, not good.  The pain in my ankle is back.  I have not run since Sept 20th. No big deal right?  Well to be honest it is a big deal, my running has been my therapy since 2010, my time to pray and my time to feel.  In my no running period I lost my Dad and I'll tell you that the no running thing has about killed me.  My emotions are on edge at all times.  My weight is up at least 7 lbs. even with using the exercise bike (I bike 5 miles every night)
I want to run again and I want to run now.  I am happy that I ran the marathon and I would do it again if I could :) I will wait another month without running, if the pain is still there it will be time for a MRI and lets hope that surgery is not needed.
The leaves on the trees changed color without me running in the beauty, the air cooled without the coolness felt on my cheeks with the smell of woodsmoke in the air, the sunset in the fall without me running into it. Let's see if I can get out and feel the snowflakes sting my face.
A runner not able to run, is like a bird unable to fly.

I DID IT! 26.2 miles

What can I say?  I did it, I put a goal in place and I did it.  Saturday May 17th I got up and had 2 eggs on wheat toast with a slice of cheese.  I took the dog to the kennel at 1030am can home and started pushing fluids.  I had a salad and a hot pocket for lunch, some saltines with cheese and lots of water.  We left for Sugarloaf about 2 pm in Willies truck, stopped at hannaford for waters,  Gatorade and bananas.  I drank a 32 ounce Gatorade on the ride up and we got to our hotel at about 415.  I sent a text to Stephanie and we decided to meet for dinner at 1730.  The restaurant was packed! So many people!  We stood outside to wait with our boys and Stephanie and her family.  We didn't get a table until 8 pm.  I ordered a pizza :) we got back to the room by 930ish.  I drank another water and went to bed.  My alarm went off and in the shower I went, I was excited to get going!  I had my usual bagel with banana and a coffee.  We could only do the 6am start if we planned on 6 hours, so we rode the shuttle to the start at 6am and would start at 7am.  The potty lines where short so at 640 we got in line and started to stretch.  I was able to wear capris and a long sleeve.
7am the gun goes off.....  First 3 miles we chatted off and on, I felt nervous thinking ahead the whole time!  We skipped the 2 mile waterstop and ate at mile 3, our average for the first 3 miles was 10:35.  Waterstop at mile 3.8 we walked very briefly and I picked Gatorade.  Jogging was easy and comfortable, I did not feel chatty as I was concentrating way too much.  Gatorade chews x5 at mile 5ish and second Gatorade stop at mile 5.8 with a very short stop, average for miles 3-6 was 10:51.  Our time was right on track, exactly was a wanted to get under 5 hours.... We are running in a Marathon!  Mile 7 was good at 10:46.  The hill started at mile 8 and went to mile 10, our average was  around 11:30 on the hill with waterstop at 9 and 10.8, I noticed the Gatorade was watered down so 6 chews every 3 miles.  The hill was completely done at 10 mile, the downhill after that was steep and my hips started at ache.  Going down the hill we were at the Sugarloaf enterence.  Half marathon time was around 2:22ish, just perfect!  The road was slanted and the sides were choppy with tar pieces and dirt.  My hips were sore as well as my right foot.  Around mile 15 Willie drove by with the kids, our families would be waiting at mile 17 Ayottes store!  I was anxious the get to mile 17.  We paced about 11 from 11-17, with waterstop and a 12:18 mile 15.  Creeping up to mile 17 I was hurting in my left hip and right ankle but knew my family was there so I was trying not to cry!  I could hear "go Mo" way before I could see them... They were holding signs and cheering!  I was happy to see them and I jogged by getting my second bag of gummies and stopped at water.  Steph was right behind me.  After water we went to jog and she couldn't.  Her knee was hurting.... Gawd what do we do? She stood there not waiting to quit she decided to walk a mile.  I could not leave her, walking hurt because I was cramping but I could not leave her at mile 17, we only had 9 more!!! I walked with her for the entire mile sign to sign we walked.  Bummer!  I felt like we should try to jog at least 1/2 mile then walk 1/2 mile, Steph agreed and I was happy with that.  I really could not go forth without her.  We started the training together and we will finish together!!! We stopped at every water stop taking in Gatorade and chews.  Miles 19, 20, and 21 was around 12:30mm with several walk breaks when she couldn't go on.  Our families leap frogged and cheered for us.  The family support was amazing!  Mile 22 was another walking mile, my family held signs, they were awesome and this is what they said:  We ❤️ #99, 26.2 or bust, sisters strong, You believed you could so you DID.  At mile 22 Kit was holding "I run because I can" that was part of my mantra, Willie held the second part "I run for those who can't". Seriously! I got misty again and blew kisses, I also took the list from my pouch and gripped it in my hand.  My list was of people who inspired me, people who lost life too young, people who I loved.  Mile 23-26 averaged around 14mm, mostly because of the knee injury but we would finish!! I was hurting in my right foot and left hip, otherwise I felt like jogging, for one it got us to the finish quicker and I actually had a little energy.  Going up through the street towards the finish I got excited, we were actually almost there!  My Nolan and Amelia jogged with me to the chute saying "you got this! You are there!"  I crossed the finish at 5 hours 26 minutes, not under 5 but I finished a Marathon and we finished together as planned!  Willie hugged me at the finished as well as my sisters and kids.  I was given flowers and a 26.2 sticker.  I got a juice and took a few bites of bagel, but couldn't eat.  I was excited and tired!  My shoes came off and my family kept saying how proud and how amazing I did.  I was thrilled, and I did it!  Will I do it again??? Well..... I think I will :) my sister wants to do one and I will do it with her.  My legs were sore but after 2 days not really.  I'm hoping to run this weekend.

Over thinking....

So either I write a small blog or I will blow up my Facebook page with premarathon crazy posts!  I can't stop thinking about this coming Sunday.  Am I ready? Can I do it? How bad will I hurt?  I am thinking about my big day, occasional thoughts of doubt and then thoughts of "I've got this". Today I thought "oh gawd" then the mail came at work and in it was a card for me.  It was the kindest most uplifting card I have ever gotten.  It reminded me of my strength and it was amazing.  One line that stuck was "it's far more than your feet on the pavement, it proves your strong, determined and focused". Then there was some about my mom which lifted me so high.  I hope I sleep tonight.

This is it! 1 week till Marathon!!!!!!

Wow!  This was week 17 of 18!  I'll start by going over my week.  Tuesday my plan was 4 miles, run to Christies and back.  I wanted to be nice so I brought the boys and the dog... Mistake #1 was bringing the dog.  Casey my jack Russell generally does great running with me but not that night.  Not even 1 mile in I was done tugging on him and turned around towards home, he was sluggish, my run total was 1.23.  Wednesday Nolan had baseball at the Rec field basketball court so I suited up to run from there.  I walked with Ethan to route 2 then headed up Church street to Plymouth rd.  The hill up Plymouth got my right calf burning so I stopped to stretch and walked a little.  I ended up working it out and jogged to Dyer to Route 2.  The hill up route 2 burned the calf so I walked some and then jogged back to my car.  4.24 miles done, the last 2 were great and I finally felt good.  Friday night would be another 4 miles while Nolan was at practice, it felt really good 4 miles in 42.20 at average pace 10:32.  Today is May 11, Mothers Day and the weather is beautiful!  I left the house at 6am for 7 miles with Stephanie, the first 3 were tough but after that it was good.  My right calf was tight and is still a little with some right ankle pain as well so this week I will use heat/ice.  Today's run was 7.01 miles in 1:16 with average pace 10:52.  Training is officially done with 2 small runs left leading up to next Sunday! Wow is all I can say, Wow, I actually am going to run a marathon!
My marathon will be run with the thoughts "I run for those who can't, I run because I can". I figure that because I am not disabled I should use my legs.  How guilty of me to not use them if I can.  Many people I know have fought though pain, cancers, and troubles but still smile, never complain.  Some people have left me in awe with strength they have, some people I just love so much and without their love to me I wouldn't be who I am today.  I will have a list with me for my big day with my loves and my inspires.  People who inspire me and my loves will get my mind and body to the finish.  My thought will be on them when I want to quit, their strength will continue to inspire me.  I want to give it my all, show my kids to never quit.  The last mile is for Willie, my husband who says if his legs were good he would run and never stop.  Willie who never complains of the pain in his legs and pushes through even after falling he gets right back up and never quits.  I will not quit and I will run that last mile for him, through pain and exhaustion.  To feel like quitting and not, to be at my lowest and keep going is what I will feel.  My people who will be with me in heart won't feel what I'm feeling but I might feel a bit of what they have felt and I will give it my all.  Thanks for inspiring me to run a Marathon, Thanks for supporting me to run a Marathon, Thanks from learning from me as I run a Marathon.

Week 16 of 18, last 2 digit run until Marathon day!

Week 16 is done as of today!  That means no more runs over 7 miles until May 18th.  I have mixed feelings about training coming to an end.  I will definitely miss the long runs in company.  I have found running long runs while chatting is great, it burns the time and the chats are great.  I love eating freely after my long runs, and I love the feeling of accomplishment.  I am so proud that I've stuck with the plan on cold days, rain and early mornings.  I have very little doubt about the Marathon.  I feel strong and ready to run it, only nervous about the last 5 miles due to the horror stories.  My outfit is picked out and my shoes are new and broken in.
This week I did 5 on Tuesday, that was 3 days after my 20 miler.  I actually intended to walk the 5 miles but jogged at 1 mile intervals, side note I was in Jeans :).  I guess I felt ok, my legs were good but my gut was not good.  I felt nausea until Thursday night, just not right, I wonder if it was from the 20 miler???  Thursday the boys wanted to do the loop again, this time I got in running clothes :).  5 miles around the loop with Ethan on his board and Nolan on his bike, I felt yucky until mile 2 then felt great walking only with Nolan on Rt 2.  Last run for the week is 12 miles.  Plan is with Stephanie and to finish by 8.  We planned to be out on the road by 530.  First 2-3 miles were tough, I actually didn't even want to eat my chews at 2 1/2 miles, but I managed to eat 4.  We stopped for Gatorade at mile 3, and by mile 4 my running felt normal again.  We steady jogged to mile 6, I was able to eat 5 chews and ran again without difficulty, the rain started too.  The rain run was great! Felt great and I was at peace for a while.  Mile 9 I skipped the fuel and just drank, why is my guts all messed up??? The jogging was easy, energy was good and to be honest I could have run on but 12 miles ended and I went home.  I didn't get a time because I forgot to start my time.  Seriously the 12 miles felt effortless like a 5k, except the first 3 miles :).  Next two runs are 4s then 7 on the weekend. Almost there!!! I will continue to feel confident and determined!!! I hope I feel normal after a few days.